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An Englishman and Santa inside the toilet.
Englishman: Good evening, how do u do?
Santa: Gud evening, we open the zip and do. |
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Banta ped pe chada to upar baithey Bandar ne poocha:
Upar kyon aaya?
Banta: Apple khane.
Bandar: Yeh to aam ka ped hai.
Banta: Pata hai, Apple saath laya hoon. |
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Pappu, while filling up a form: Dad, what should I
write against mother tongue.?
Santa: Very long! |
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Santa falls in luv with a nurse... After much
thinking, he finally writes a love letter to her: "I
luv u sister." |
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Nurse came out with the newborn kid, Santa rushed 2
her & after seeing the kid he shouted, PUTTAR hua
PUTTAR. She slapped him: Leave my finger, u fool,
It’s a gal |
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Jeeto: If I die what'll you do?
Santa: I may also die.
Jeeto: Why?
Santa: Some time too much of happiness can also kill
a man. |
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Teacher: Pappu, TAMSO MA JYOTIR GAMYA" shloka ka kya
arth hai?
Pappu: Tum so jayo maa, mein Jyoti ke pass ja raha
hoon. |
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Santa went out to buy an Indian flag. The shop owner
gave him the flag. Guess what did he ask next...
Ismein aur colour dikhayiye. |
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Santa Banta zid kar rahe c monkey dekhan di... so
tuhade ghar da address dita hai. Yaar 2-4 tapusian
maar ke dikha deo bichare khush ho jaan ge. |
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Santa: What's difference between man & Superman?
Pappu: Man wears underwear under the trouser &
superman wears it over the trouser. |
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Santa went to battery shop n asked to change
battery.
The shopkeeper asked: Exide laga du?
Santa: Dusri side tera baap lagayega kya? |
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Banta: Marte waqt aadmi ko kya dena chahiye?
Santa: Birla cement.
Banta: Kyun?
Santa: Kyunki is Cement mein jaan hai. |
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Preeto: Raat ko aap peeke gutter mein gir gaye the.
Banta: Kya bataoon, sub galat sangati ka asar hai,
hum 4 dost... 1 bottle, aur woh teeno kambhakt
peeten nahin. |
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Santa: Why Americans stop printing stamps with photo
of Pamela Anderson?
Banta: Coz people started licking the wrong side of
it for pasting them on the envelopes. |
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Banta ek sadhu se bola: Baba, meri biwi bahut
pareshan karti hai, koi upay batao.
Sadhu: Beta, upaay hota to main sadhu kyun banta? |
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Frog: Tumhare paas dimaag nahin hai.
Santa: Hai.
Frog: Nahin hai.
Santa: Hai.
Frog: Nahin hai & jumps into the well.
Santa: Isme suicide karne waali kya baat thi.? |
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Dress code 4 a party - BLACK TIES ONLY.
Banta goes for the party & is surprised to see that
the other guests are wearing SUITS also! |
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Santa was caught for speeding and went before the
judge.
The judge: What'll you take 30 days or Rs 3000.
Santa: I think I'll take the money. |
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Santa: I kiss my wife everyday before leaving for
office, what about u?
Banta: Me too, after u leave. |
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A
lady asked Santa: LIPTON di chah hai?
Santa replied: Mainu ta nahi hai ji, tainu hai ta
lipat ja... |
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Q: Why Santa is standing below the Tube light with
an open mouth.
A: Because Doctor has advised him: 'Aaj Light Khana
hai!' |
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Q: How do you recognize Santa's son, Pappu, in
School?
A: He is the one who erases the books when the
teacher erases the board. |
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Santa standing on platform suddenly jumps on the
railway track.
Banta: Santa u'll die.
Santa: U'll die bcoz haven’t u heard train is coming
on platform? |
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Santa & Banta got tired of mobile & decide 2 use
pigeons. 1day a pigeon reaches Banta without
message. Angry Banta calls Santa!
Santa: Oye, this was a missed call. |
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Santa saw a beautiful gal... he went and smooched
her.
Gal - What are you doing?
Santa: Law, 4th semester from Punjab University. |
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Santa suffering from constipation, sitting on toilet
seat: Ooonh, oooonh, oohh.... nee aaja marjaniye
main tenu khan ta ni laga. |
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