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At the
scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I hv
lst my hand, oh!
Santa: Control urself. Don't cry. See that man. He
has lost his head. Is he crying? |
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In an
interview,
Interviewer: How does an electric motor run?
Santa: Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr.....
Inteviewer shouts: Stop it.
Santa: Dhhuurrrr dhup dhup dhup... |
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Santa
was getting bitten by mosquitoes the whole night. He
got irritated... drank poison & said, Ab kaato
saalon, sab maroge! |
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Captain
of Military: Naujawanon aage bado
Santa aage nahin bada
Captain: Tum aage kyun nahin bade?
Santa: Apne kaha 9 jawanon aage bado, mein 10ve
number pe tha |
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Banta:
Yaar teri wife di maut da bara afsos hoya, vaise
hoya ki si?
Sant: Goli lagi si mathe vich.
Banta: Waheguru ji da shukar kar ke akh bach gayi. |
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Santa
apni khoobsurat Bibi k saath car mein baitha. Driver
ne sheesha set kiya. Santa gusse mein bola, meri
bibi ko dekhkta hai, piche baith, car mein
chalaoonga! |
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Santa:
tainu Sunny Deol da phone no pata hai...?
Banta: Nahin, kyon ki hoya?
Santa: Yaaar asi Nalka patauna si. |
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Banta: U
cheated me.
Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to u.
Banta: Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio
says This is all India Radio! |
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Banta: U
looked troubled, what’s ur prob?
Santa: I’m going to b a father
Banta: But, that's wonderful
Santa: What's wonderful! My wife doesn't know about
it yet |
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O yaar
hun meri kudi jawaan ho gayi hai, ki karan?
Banta: Karna ki hai, ohnu border te bhej de, saanu
jawaanan di badi lor hai |
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Sadhu:
Bachcha teri biwi ko chuddail chimar gayee hai.
Upaaye karvaao.
Banta: Upaaye? Baba, agar do behenein gale mil rahi
hain to is mein harz hi kya hai ? |
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Jeeto:
Kyon ji, tussi gaddi di speed kyon vadha ditti?
Santa: Break fail ho gayi hai, accident hon to pehle
hi ghar pahounch jaaiye. |
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Tourist:
Whose skeleton is that?
Santa: Tipu's skeleton.
Tourist: Whose that smaller skeleton next to it?
Santa: That's Tipu's skeleton when he was child
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Banta: Y
did u buy ur wife a huge diamond ring for her B'day?
I thought she wanted a car.
Santa: She did, but where in the world was I going
to find a fake car? |
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Napoleon: There is no such word as 'Impossible' in
my dictionary.
Santa: Taan dictionary vekh ke kharidni si ...!
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Jeeto:
Dekho woh admi mujhe ghoor-ghoor ke dekh raha hai.
Santa: Woh to kabadia hai, raddi pe nazar rakhna
uski aadat hai |
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Santa:
Agar tumhe kuch ho gaya to mein Pagal ho jaaunga.
Jeeto: Doosri shaadi to nahin karogey?
Santa: Pagal ka kya hai, kuch bhi kar sakta hai |
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Banta:
Yeh AUTOMATICALLY kya hota hai?
Santa: Oye tenuh eh vi nahin pata, Jab auto mein koi
ganji ladki ja rahi ho to use kehte hain AUTO-ME-TAKLI |
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Santa
breaks an egg to make an omelet. He finds the egg
empty. Gets frustrated & says: Aaj kal murguian bhi
abortion karati hain |
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Santa:
If I die will u remarry?
Jeeto: No! I'll stay with my sister. But if I die
will u remarry?
Santa: No, I'll also stay with ur sister |
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Lady:
Time kitna hua hai?
Banta: Bra Panties.
Lady: Time poocha hai Nonsense.
Banta: Time hi to bataya hai 12.35 |
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Santa
was riding on a horse. He jumped the red light & a
cop whistles.
Santa lifts the tail of horse & says: 'Le Karle
Number Note' |
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Santa
suffering from cold was shivering. His son called a
doc.
Doc: wht happened?
Son: Bimari da ta pata nahun par baapu saver da
VIBRATION mode te lagaya hai |
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Jeeto &
Preeto were talking about their new milkman.
Jeeto: He's very good looking, punctual & dresses so
smartly.
And so quickly too!, said Preeto |
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A man to
Santa: Ur friend is kissing ur wife in ur home.
Santa rushes home and came back within half an hour
n slapped the man n said: He's not my friend. |
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Jeeto:
Kal raat tum mujhe neend mein tumne mujhe gaaliyan
di
Santa: Tumhari galat fahami hai.
Jeeto: Kaisi galatfahami?
Santa: Yehi ki mein soya tha. |
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