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Santa:
Drinking n driving dono nalo naal nai ho sakde.
Banta: Y?
Santa: Je speed breaker aa gaya taa peg dul jau. |
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Santa
bar vich ro reha si. Bartender: Kyon ro rahe ho?
Santa: Hor ki karan? Main jis kudi da naa bhulna
chahunda si usda naam yaad hi nahin aa reha. |
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Phone ki
ring baji. Santa: Phone mere liye ho to kehna mein
ghar pe nahin hoon.
Jeeto phone pe: Wo ghar pe hain.
Santa: Maine mana kiya that...
Jeeto: Phone mere liye tha! |
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Santa to
a doc: Apne nurse bahut achchi rakhi hai, uska haath
lagtey hi mein theek ho gaya.
Doc: Jaanta hoon, thappad ki awaaz mujhe bhi sunai
di thi. |
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Santa
was writing the passive voice of 'I made a mistake.'
He wrote: I was made by a mistake. |
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Santa to
his son: I think it's right time we should talk
about sex!
Pappu: Sure dad, what do u wanna know...? |
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Santa:
Oh yaar main badi mushkil mein hoon. Meri biwi
mujhse ek pappi ka Ek rupeya leti hai.
Banta: Oh yaar tu lucky hai, auron se to woh 5
rupaye leti hai. |
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Santa to
Banta: Main apna purse ghar bhool aaya, mainu 1000
Rs chahide si.
Banta: Dost hi dost de kam aunda hai, le 10 Rs,
riksha kar te purse le aa. |
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An ATM's
jammed & failed when operated by Santa. Why? B'coz
he put a pin from his turban when asked: Enter ur
Pin |
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Banta:
Wo ladki deaf lagti hai. Main kuch kehta hoon, woh
kuch aur hi bolti hai.
Santa: Kaise?
Banta: Maine kaha I Luv U, to woh boli 'Maine kal hi
Naye Sandal kharide hain' |
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Santa to
Jeeto: Kaisi sabzi banai hai, bilkul Gobar jaisa
swad hai.
Jeeto, maatha peet te hue: Hey bhagwan! Na jane
inhone kya-kya kha ke dekha hua hai. |
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Daku
Mangal Singh Banta ke ghar mein ghusa aur bola: Sona
kahan hai, jaldi bataao
Banta: Pura ghar khali hai malko, jithe marzi so jao! |
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A sweet
girl goes to Banta's shop and said: Mujhe underwear
dikhao.
Banta sharmate hue: Aaj pehan kar nahin aaya. |
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Teacher:
Pappu, describe digestive system of a human being.
Pappu: Very simple, it starts with right hand & ends
with left hand. |
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Santa:
Tainu tairna aanda hai?
Banta: No
Santa: Tere naalon ta kutte changey ne jehre tair
lende ne
Banta: Tenu tairna aanda hai?
Santa: Aaho
Banta: Pher tere te kutte ch ki farak hai? |
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Two days
of powercut in Delhi had made life miserable. Worst
affected was Delhi Metro station where families of
Santa & Banta were struck for 48 hrs on Escalators. |
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Santa:
Yaar meri aankhein dhang se nahin khulti, koi tarika
batao.
Banta: Kisi din achanak apne ghar chale jaao. |
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Santa:
Ghar ka saara keemti samaan chhupa ke rakh do, mere
dost aa rahe hain.
Jeeto: Kyon! Aapke dost chura lengey? Santa: Nahin,
pehchan lengey. |
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I can
kiss u without even touching u.
Gal: U can't
Santa: Lagi 10-10 ki
Gal: Ok
Santa kisses her lips
Gal: Touch kar liya, touch kar liya
Santa: Aah lai 10 Rs |
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Q: What
do you call a man who can't hear anything?
Santa: Anything you want because he can't hear na!!! |
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Santa:
Oye, ladki dekh, kitni sohni hai.
Bata: Mujhe to uska naam bhi pata hai.
Santa: Kya naam hai.
Banta: Mein bank gaya tha, vahan yeh ek counter pe
baithi thi, name plate pe likha tha: Chaalu Khata |
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Pappu:
Bapu idhar aa...
Jeeto: Aise nahin bolte beta, daddy ko izzat se
bulate hai.
Pappu: Bapu, izzat ke sath idhar aaja. |
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Santa n
Banta were watchin a cricket match. When Dhoni hits
a boundary.
Banta: Kya Goal mara.
Santa: Raha na bewakoof ka bewakoof, Goal ismein
nahin cricket mein hota hai |
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Jeeto:
Sharam aani chahiye, tumhare Banta ki bibi ke saath
sambandh hain.
Santa: Sorry, par tumhe kaise pata chala?
Jeeto: Kal Banta aaya tha, usne tumhara underwear
pehna hua tha |
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Lady
Secretary: Sir, it's ur wife's call. She wants to
kiss u on the phone.
Santa: Take msg and give me later. |
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Santa:
What food u feed ur new born baby?
Bautiful young Mom: Breast milk & Orange juice...
Santa: Oye, which side is orange juice? |
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