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Santa
talking on phone.
Banta: Kis se baat kar rahe ho?
Santa: Biwi se. Banta: Itne pyar se...?
Santa: Tumhari hai. |
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Santa:
I'd like some Vitamins for my son.
Clerk: Sir, vitamin A, B or C ?
Santa: Any will do as my son doesn't know the
albhabets yet. |
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Santa's
son: Mere papa bahut darpok hain.
Banta's son: How?
Santa's son: Jab bhi road cross karte hain to meri
ungli pakad lete hain aur kehte hain ki chodna mat. |
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Banta
joins army, given AK 47. He's puzzled & asks Major:
Sir, yeh bandook ki nali samne rakhun ya ulta?
Major: Kisi bhi taraf rakho, faida desh ka hi hoga. |
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Gal: I
think the poorest people are the haapiest.
Banta: Then marry me and we'll be the happiest. |
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What's
an adult joke?
Santa: Any joke which is eighteen years old. |
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If u
call ur mother as MUM what'll u call mother's
younger sis & elder sis?
Santa: Minimum and Maximum |
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Santa:
Main ek eho jehi cheej labhi aa jeehday nal deewar
de aar par dekhya ja sakda hai.
Banta: Balle! Ki cheej hai?
Santa: MORI |
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Santa:
What is the similarity between Bill Gates n Me?
Banta: Don’t know.
Santa: Well... He never comes to my house & I never
go 2 his! |
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Santa &
Banta are walking down the road when Banta says:
Look at that dog with one eye!
Santa covers one of his eyes and says: Where? |
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Girl:
Will you love me after marriage also?
Santa: This depends on your husband, if he allows
me. |
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Jeeto to
Santa: Stop looking at girls, u r married now.
Santa: U mean if I am on diet, I can’t look at the
menu also? |
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Santa to
Banta: Name 5 animals living in the water?
Banta: 1 Frog.
Santa: Theek hai hor das?
Banta: Frog da praah, bhen, piyo te maa. |
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Banta:
Meri biwi mujhe chod ke chali gayi.
Santa: Tu uska khyal nahi rakhta hoga.
Banta: Arre yaar, Sagi behan ki tarah rakhta tha. |
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Santa
drinking heavily in bar gets up n farts loudly. Man
next 2 him: Excuse me, but u just farted before my
wife.
Santa: Sorry, I didn't know it was her turn |
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Santa:
Qutub Minar kahan hai?
Pappu: Pata nahi.
Santa: Kabhi ghar se nikla karo.
Pappu: Ram Lal kaun hai?
Santa: Pata nahi.
Pappu: Kabhi Ghar me bhi raha karo. |
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Heights
of Friendship: Santa commiting suicide, someone
asked the reason. He said: My wife ran with my
friend and I can't live without my friend. |
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Santa
proposing a girl: Darling kya tum mujse shadi karogi?
Girl: Tameez se baat karo.
Santa: Behan ji, kya aap mujhse shaadi karoge? |
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Inspector to Santa: Faansi se pehle, bata teri
aakhri ichha kya hai?Santa: Mere pair upar aur sier
neeche kar k faansi de do! |
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Banta:
Saadi teacher kehndi hai ke MAJJ da taja dudh peen
nal dimag wadhda hai.
Santa: Oye je ajehi gall hundi taan apna katta ajj
IAS officer lageya hunda! |
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Santa: I
tried ur number so many times, it always said
'Switched Off'!"
Banta: Nooo, it's my HELLO TUNE! |
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Beggar:
Oh sundari, andha hoon, paanch rupya de de.
Santa to his wife: De de, De de, tujhe sundari bola
hai to har haal main ye andha hai. |
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Santa:
Oye tera vyah ho gya?
Banta: Haan.
Santa: Kuri naal?
Banta: Oye munde naal v hunda hai kya?
Santa: Haan... Meri bhain da hoya si ! |
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A crow
shits on a Banta. Preeto gives tissue paper to him.
Banta: Koi phayda nahin, kauwa toh ud gaya! |
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Banta:
Jab main paida hua tha to military walon ne 21
topein chalayeen thi. Santa: Kamaal hai ! Sab ka
nishana chook gaya ? |
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Santa
meets his old friend.
Santa: A & B, A & B, A & B, A & B, A & B.
Friend: Oye, iska matlab?
Santa: Kuch nahin yaar, I mean long time no C. |
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