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SANTA BANTA SMS |
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Santa to
wife: Did u hav any boy friend before marriage?
Wife remain silent.
Santa: Main is khamoshi ko kya samjhu?
Wife: Bewakoof ginan tan de. |
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Santa
Radio lekar POTTY karne gaya.
Banta: Aaj toh mazey se ki hogi ?
Santa: Khaak mazey se ki, radio par Jan-Gan-Man aa
gaya, khade-khade karni padi. |
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Santa
eats 8 Butter Naan at a party and is suffering from
Constipation.
Praying & crying in Toilet: Hey Wahe Guru...Ya toh
JAAN nikal de, ya NAAN nikal de. |
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Santa
went to a museum where he broke a statue.
Officer: U have broken a 5000 years old statue.
Santa: Thank God, mainu lagga nava si… |
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Santa
gets a Cheque & throws it on the ground. Can you
Guess why?
To see whether it’ll BOUNCE or not! |
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Santa:
Mein Shimla ja raha hoon, jate hue raaste mein biwi
ko khai mein dhaka de doonga.
Banta: Yaar meri bi le ja, use bhi dhaka de dena.
Santa: Theek hai, agar tu bura na maane use vaapsi
pe dhaka de doon? |
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Banta
was traveling in an auto rickshaw with his wife. The
driver adjusted the mirror.
Banta shouted: U r trying to see my wife, sit back,
I'll drive! |
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Santa
looked in the mirror & said: Seems I've seen him
sumwhere.
Then he says: Oh yes! He's the same bastard who was
standing next to my wife in my wedding album. |
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Baniye
shayar ne arz kiya.
Moorkh tha Shahjahan jo kar gaya kharcha itna TAJ
par Kambakht, Har din ek nayi Mumtaz aa jati us
kharche ke BYAAZ par. |
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Santa-Bus stand jane k kitne paise?
Rikshawala: 10 Rs
Santa: 2Rs mein chalega to theek hai
Rikshawala: 2Rs mein kaun le k jayega?
Santa: Peeche baith main lekar jata hoon. |
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Santa:
Mere mummy ne kal murga banaya.
Banta: Kinu, tenu ke tere bapu nu? |
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Master:
Kaka tenu pata hai ki teri umar wich Gandhi Ji, BA
kar chuke si?
Santa: Sir tuhadi umar vich Bhagat Singh faansi v
chad chuke si. |
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Santa
kissed his girl friend in the park. Girl: Plz ye sb
shadi se pehle…
Santa: Don’t worry darling, I'm already married. |
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Bante di
wife nu daaku chuk k ley gaye. Sarean ne keha daaku
khatarnaak ne, khali haath na jawin wife nu bachaun.
Banta 2-kg Amb ley Gaya. |
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Santa:
Main aur meri girlfriend shaadi kar rahe hain.
Banta: Wow, Kab?
Santa: Meri 7 Dec ko aur uski 13 Jan ko. |
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Jeeto:
Main tang ya. Tusi hamesha Mera Ghar, Meri car, mera
beta, bus Mera Mera hi karde ho, kadi Sadda vi keha
karo, hun almari vichon ki lab rahe ho?
Santa: Sadda Kachcha. 1 |
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Santa:
Bhai, har roz murge nal roti khaidee hai.
Banta: Yaar, Oh kiven?
Santa: Ik burki aap khaidee aae te ik murge nu
paayee di hai. |
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Santa:
Tere result da ki banya?
Pappu: Madam kehndi iss class vich 1saal hor lagna
hai.
Santa: Pher theek hai, saal bhaaven 2-3 hor lag jaan,
bass fail na hoeen. |
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Ek
kabutar ne Sante te bitth kar diti. Santa: Oye teri
maa ne tainu kachha pauna ni sikhaya?
Kabutar: Saleya tu kachha pa k karda hain? |
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Pappu:
Dad what’s Sex?
Santa gets tensed but explains everything.
Pappu: But dad how do I write all that in this small
box of school admission form? |
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Santa:
Is operation se mujhe kuchh ho gaya to isi doctor se
shadi kar Lena.
Jeeto: Aise kyo kah rahe ho?
Santa: Doctor se badla Lene ka yehi 1 rasta hai! |
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Interviewer: Aap kisi MAHILA mein sabse pehle kya
dekhte hain?
Santa: O ji, wo is baat par depend karta hai ki woh
aa rahi hai ya jaa rahi hai? |
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Nurse-
Congrats: Apke jurwa bete hue hain.
Santa: Ye to hona hi tha.
Nurse- Kyon?
Santa: Jab dekho KBC PART-2 dekhti rahti thi, Mil
gaya na UMEED SE DUGNA |
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Santa
declares: I'll never marry in my life and I'll give
same advice to my children also. |
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Santa
apni girlfriend ko I Luv U kehta hai aur gir jaata
hai.
Girl: Yeh kya kar rahe ho? Santa: I'm falling in Luv |
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