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" Men
never know how tired they are till their wives sit
them down for a nice long talk." |
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|
" The
reason they're called the opposite sex is because
every time you think you have your wife fooled -
it's just the opposite!" |
|
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|
"
Originally marriage meant the sale of a woman by one
man to another; now most women sell themselves
though they have no intention of delivering the
goods listed in the bill of sale." |
|
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|
" If I
ever marry, it will be on a sudden impulse - as a
man shoots himself." |
|
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" My
wife tells me she doesn't care what I do when I'm
away, as long as I'm not enjoying it." |
|
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|
"
"What's for dinner?" is the only question many
husbands ask their wives, and the only one to which
they care about the answer." |
|
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"
Hubert Humphrey talks so fast that listening to him
is like trying to read Playboy magazine with your
wife turning the pages." |
|
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|
"
People do not marry people, not real ones anyway;
they marry what they think the person is; they marry
illusions and images. The exciting adventure of
marriage is finding out who the partner really is." |
|
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|
" Men
have a much better time of it than women. For one
thing, they marry later; for another thing, they die
earlier." |
|
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|
" No
man expects a great deal from marriage. He is quite
satisfied if his wife is a good cook, a good valet,
an attentive audience, and a patient nurse." |
|
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" I
came from a big family. As a matter of fact, I never
got to sleep alone until I was married." |
|
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|
" If
marriage were outlawed, only outlaws would have
in-laws." |
|
|
|
"
Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because
you do." |
|
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" I've
sometimes thought of marrying, and then I've thought
again." |
|
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|
" Thus
Dante's motto over Inferno applies with equal force
to marriage: "Ye who enter here leave all hope
behind." |
|
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|
"
Wasn't marriage, like life, unstimulating and
unprofitable and somewhat empty when too well
ordered and protected and guarded. Wasn't it finer,
more splendid, more nourishing, when it was, like
life itself, a mixture of the sordid and the
magnificent; of mud and stars; of earth and flowers;
of love and hate and laughter and tears and ugliness
and beauty and hurt." |
|
|
|
" "I
am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the
English language. Could it be that "I do" is the
longest sentence?" |
|
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|
"
Affairs are just as disillusioning as marriage, and
much less restful." |
|
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|
"
Marriage is a lottery in which men stake their
liberty and women their happiness." |
|
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|
" The
marriage of convenience has this to recommend it: we
are better judges of convenience than we are of
love." |
|
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" Love
is blind, but marriage restores its sight." |
|
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|
" The
best way to remember your wife's birthday is to
forget it once." |
|
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|
"
Marriage is like pleading guilty to an indefinite
sentence. Without parole." |
|
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|
"
Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you
take it out, you lose interest." |
|
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|
" If
you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for
the criticism of one, go ahead, get married." |
|
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" The
total amount of undesired sex endured by women is
probably greater in marriage than in prostitution." |
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