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" The
man who never in his life
Has washed the dishes with his wife
Or polished up the silver plate -
He still is largely celibate." |
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" A
love that lasts for twenty years may be better than
love, but it isn't love." |
|
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" God
created sex. Priests created marriage." |
|
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" To
avoid mistakes and regrets, always consult your wife
before engaging in a flirtation." |
|
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" The
secret of a happy marriage remains a secret." |
|
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"
Marriage is a mistake every man should make." |
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" I
guess walking slow getting married is because it
gives you time to maybe change your mind." |
|
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" A
husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve
has been extracted." |
|
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" My
husband and I divorced over religious differences.
He thought he was God, and I didn't." |
|
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"
Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom
never remembers birthdays and the other never
forgets them." |
|
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"
Husbands are like fires. They go out when
unattended." |
|
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" The
concern that some women show at the absence of their
husbands, does not arise from their not seeing them
and being with them, but from their apprehension
that their husbands are enjoying pleasures in which
they do not participate, and which, from their being
at a distance, they have not the power of
interrupting." |
|
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" But
married once, a man is stak'd or pown'd, and cannot
graze beyond his own hedge." |
|
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"
Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the
enemy." |
|
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|
" Why
do married men gain weight while bachelors don't?
Bachelors go to the refrigerator, see nothing they
want, then go to bed. Married guys go to the bed,
see nothing they want, then go to the refrigerator." |
|
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" I
never married because there was no need. I have
three pets at home which answer the same purpose as
a husband. I have a dog which growls every morning,
a parrot which swears all afternoon, and a cat that
comes home late at night." |
|
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"
Women seem to be all right on bargains till it comes
to picking out a husband." |
|
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"
After a few years of marriage, a man can look right
at a woman without seeing her - and a woman can see
right through a man without looking at him." |
|
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" A
man without a wife is like a vase without flowers." |
|
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" Why
get married? For human beings, marriage is such an
unnatural state. If you want monogamy, it has been
said, you should marry a swan." |
|
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"
Wives are young men's mistresses; companions for
middle age; and old men's nurses." |
|
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"
Marriage: A word which should be pronounced
"mirage". " |
|
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" A
woman ought to look up to her husband, if only a
half-inch." |
|
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" A
woman who loves her husband is merely paying her
bills. A woman who loves her lover gives alms to the
poor." |
|
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" Love
requires a willingness to die; marriage, a
willingness to live." |
|
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" We
were happily married for eight months.
Unfortunately, we were married for four and a half
years." |
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