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"
English Law prohibits a man from marrying his
mother-in-law. This is our idea of useless
legislation." |
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"
Matrimony is a process by which a grocer acquired an
account the florist had." |
|
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"
Marriage is a book of which the first chapter is
written in poetry and the remaining chapters in
prose." |
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" A
dress that zips up the back will bring a husband and
wife together." |
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" All
marriages are happy. It's the living together
afterward that causes all the trouble." |
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" One
of the good things that come of a true marriage is,
that there is one face on which changes come without
your seeing them; or rather there is one face which
you can still see the same, through all the shadows
which years have gathered upon it." |
|
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" As
to marriage or celibacy, let a man take which course
he will, he will be sure to repent." |
|
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" Love
seems the swiftest but it is the slowest of all
growths. No man or woman really knows what perfect
love is until they have been married a quarter of a
century." |
|
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"
Never feel remorse for what you have thought about
your wife; she has thought much worse things about
you." |
|
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" Any
intelligent woman who reads the marriage contract,
and then goes into it, deserves all the
consequences." |
|
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|
" When
two people are under the influence of the most
violent, most insane, most delusive, and most
transient of passions, they are required to swear
that they will remain in that excited, abnormal, and
exhausting condition continuously until death do
them part." |
|
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" A
first-rate marriage is like a first-rate hotel:
expensive, but worth it." |
|
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"
Here's to matrimony, the high sea for which no
compass has yet been invented!" |
|
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|
" The
reason for much matrimony is patrimony." |
|
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" I
figure that the degree of difficulty in combining
two lives ranks somewhere between rerouting a
hurricane and finding a parking place in downtown
Manhattan." |
|
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" A
man's wife has more power over him than the state
has." |
|
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|
"
Three rings of marriage are the engagement ring, the
wedding ring, and the suffering." |
|
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"
Though marriage makes man and wife one flesh, it
leaves 'em still two fools." |
|
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"
Marriage ceremony: an incredible metaphysical sham
of watching God and the law being dragged into the
affairs of your family." |
|
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" A
man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then
he's finished." |
|
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" One
should never know too precisely whom one has
married." |
|
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"
Bigamy is having one husband or wife too many.
Monogamy is the same." |
|
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"
Spouse: someone who'll stand by you through all the
trouble you wouldn't have had if you'd stayed
single." |
|
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"
Marriage means commitment. Of course, so does
insanity." |
|
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" Like
good wine, marriage gets better with age - once you
learn to keep a cork in it." |
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"
Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready
for an institution." |
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