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" The
only people who make love all the time are liars."
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" The
only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man
is when he's a baby." |
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" Love
is a grave mental disease." |
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" I
believe that sex is one of the most beautiful,
natural, wholesome things that money can buy." |
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"
Trust your husband, adore your husband, and get as
much as you can in your own name." |
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" No
matter how love-sick a woman is, she shouldn't take
the first pill that comes along." |
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" All
marriages are happy. It's trying to live together
afterwards that causes all the problems." |
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" Love
is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your
heart or burn down your house, you can never tell." |
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" I
was married by a judge.
I should have asked for a jury." |
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" A
man is already halfway in love with any woman who
listens to him." |
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" You
can't buy love on eBay." |
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" When
a relationship goes flat, so does a couple of sets
of car tires." |
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" The
trouble with some women is that they get all excited
about nothing -- and then marry him." |
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" By
the time you swear you're his,
Shivering and sighing,
And he vows his passion is infinite, undying -
Lady, make note of this: One of you is lying." |
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"
Marriage marks the end of many short follies - being
one long stupidity." |
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" If
you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for
the criticism of one, go ahead, get married." |
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" Love
is the answer, but while you're waiting for the
answer, sex raises some pretty good questions." |
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" The
last time I was inside a woman was when I went to
the Statue of Liberty." |
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" Men
are from Earth. Women are from Earth. Deal with it." |
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" When
we got married I told my wife "If you leave me, I'm
going with you. And she never did." |
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"
Marrying a man is like buying something you've been
admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may
love it when you get it home, but it doesn't always
go with everything else in the house." |
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" Sex
without love is an empty experience, but as empty
experiences go, it's one of the best." |
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"
Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes.
There’s too much fraternizing with the enemy." |
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" Love
is an electric blanket with somebody else in control
of the switch." |
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" If
sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are
so many books on how to do it?" |
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"
Marriage is like jogging through a puddle of
industrial strength rubber glue. You can work hard
and make it through the struggles; however, you
usually leave your bobby socks and sneakers behind
along the way." |
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