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NAUGHTY SMS |
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Mother
to Teenage Daughter : "I think its time that we
should talk about SEX."
Daughter : "Yes Mom, What do You want to know ?".
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what's common between the SUN & WOMEN'S
UNDERWEAR?
1) both are hott
2) both look better while going down
3) both disappear by night............ |
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Patient : I always see spots before my eyes.
Doctor : Didn't the new glasses help?
Patient : Sure, Now i see the spots much clearer.!! |
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Husband wife ki godh mein leta hua thaa...
Wife: Kaisa lag raha hai ji.
Husband: Aise jaise bhagwaan Vishnu Shesh naag ki
godh mein lete hon!! |
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After
a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, "You know, I
was a fool when I married you."
She replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love & didn't
notice." |
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Father: Tumhe kaisi biwi chahiye?
Son: Mujhe chand jai si biwi chahiye, Jo raat ko
aaye aur subha chali jaye! |
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Man:what is million years to u?
God:only a second.
Man:what is billion of Dollar.to u?
God:only a Coin.
Man:ok give me a Coin.
God:wait a second.... |
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sardar
ji to his friend: Yar bari ushkil main hoon mairi
bivi mujh say aik kiss ka 100 RS laiti hay .....
friend: acha, yar to bara lucky hay doosron say to
wo 500RS laiti hay. |
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Husband to a newly wed Wife.I could go to the end of
the worldfor u,, wife thanks, but promise me u will
stay there |
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A
sardar was running with his pregnent wife,who was
about to deliver, when another sardar asked him, O
pernam singh, oye woti nu ais haal vitch le ke
kithey puj rya vain, pernam singh replied,assi Pizza
hut chaley aan, sunya aa othey free delivery hondi
aaa. |
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behind
every SUCCESSFUL woman, there is a SATISFIED man,but
behind a SATISFIED woman there is an EXHAUSTED
man... |
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A man
to cardiologist, How dare u tell my wife that she
has a cute Vagina, Doctor, stupid, i told her that
she has acute Angina. |
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A boy
and gal of 5th class asked teacher "kya chote
bachoon ke bhi bache hoote
hain"? teacher nahin kabhi nahin " boy said to girl-dekha
aur tu aise hi dar rahi thi". |
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Musharraf said to his
mother.
Ammi mari B.V , M.M.A walon sey meli hoi hai! Jab
bhe kamray main jata hoon kehti hai wardi
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75yrz
old man got married with a girl of 15 yrz old. At
marriage nite they both r crying cuz Girl don't know
anything and an old man hav 4gotten evrythng. |
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Which
Type Of Woman Is Yours?
HARD-DISK Woman:She remembers everything, FOREVER.
RAM Woman:She forgets about you, the moment you turn
her off.
WINDOWS Woman:Everyone knows that she can't do a
thing right, but no one can live without her.
EXCEL Woman:They say she can do a lot of things but
you mostly use for your four basic needs.
SCREENSAVER Woman:She is good for nothing but at
least she is fun!
INTERNET Woman:Difficult to access.
SERVER Woman:Always busy when you need her.
MULTIMEDIA Woman:She makes horrible things look
beautiful.
CD-ROM Woman:She is always faster and faster.
E-MAIL Woman:Every ten things she says, eight are
nonsense.
VIRUS Woman:Also known as "WIFE"; when you are not
expec |
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A
husband was stung by a bee on his penis and it
became swollen. His wife prayed, "Oh God may you
remove off the pain and leave the size as it is. |
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Maid
cleaning bedroom found a used condom and kept
looking at it. Madam asked dont you have sex in the
village, Maid "Yes we do but not till the skin drops
off |
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who is
stronger man or woman?
Anser?
A woman coz she lifts two mountain on her chest
while man lifts his crane with the help of 2 stones. |
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Ques :
Why do Couples hold hands on Wedding Day?
Ans : Just for Formality, like 2 Boxers shaking
hands before Fight!! |
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Girls
Hostel ki light chali gayi.
Ek ladki ne electric office me phone karke kaha:
Light chali gayi hai, aadmi bhejo.
Replied "Aadmi nahi hai, mombatti se kaam chala lo." |
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chota
sardar:mummy kal raat ko,phir maine bathroom ka
darvaja khola toh light apne aap jal
gaye.mummy:kaminey phir tune fridge main susu ki! |
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Once
Laloo was coming out of Airport. As there was a huge
rush, the security guard told Laloo "WAIT PLEASE"
for which Laloo replied "65Kgs" and moved |
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Once
Laloo wanted to know the time difference between
Bihar and Las Vegas.So he called up the Tourist
department and asked them "Ji..could you tell methe
time difference between Patna and Las Begas...". .
The man at the other end replies "One second sir..."
and Laloo immediately replies "thank you"and puts
the phone down |
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At a
bar in New York, the man to Laloo's left tells the
bartender ,"JOHNNIE WALKER, SINGLE." And the man's
companion says, "JACK DANIELS,SINGLE." The bartender
approaches Laloo and asks, "AND YOU, SIR?"
Lalooreplies: "LALOO YADAV, MARRIED |
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