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When you
get this SMS, send it to 1 person u love, 1 u hate,
1 u always think of and 1 u wish to kill. Now, keep
guessing why I sent it to u. |
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My goal
is to be a failure! If I reach my goal, I'll be
successful and if I don't reach my goal, I'll still
be successful. |
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Beauty
is not how you look, it is not how handsome you are,
it is not your figure too, beauty is the inner self,
so change your underwear daily. |
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Jab tum
hanstey ho to lagta hai ki insaan pehle bandar tha!
Dekho gussa mat karo kyonki jab tum gussa karte ho
to lagta hai ki insaan aaj bhi bandar hai. |
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Never
hold your farts in. They travel up your spine, into
your brain and that's where you get your shitty
ideas from! |
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Consequences of American life style: The wife rushed
into house screaming 2 her husband, Darling, Come
quick! Ur kids n my kids r beating our kids. |
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Yamraj
ne ek ladke ki jaan le li. Chitragupt- Iss ko waqt
se pehle kyon mara?
Yumraj: Kya karun, March end mein target jo pura
karna tha. |
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Sharabi
eyes donate karne gaya, Counter Clerk asks: Kuch
kehna chahte ho?
Sharabi: Jise lagao usse bata dena ye do peg ke baad
khulti hain. |
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A young
man asks a kind priest: Father is it a sin to sleep
with a girl?
Father: No my child but the problem is that u guys
never sleep. |
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Yaad
mein tumhari mujhe loose motions lag gaye hain. Hain
to ye aanso per lagta hai raata bhatak gaye hain. |
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Can't
believe that after all the shit that's happened
between them, they are still together.
Who?
Ur bums. |
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Osama to
Big B: How are you??
Big B: Bas Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham. And you?
Osama: Bas Kabhi Gola Kabhi Bum. |
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Look at
the ocean & see God's abundance! Look at the sky &
see God's glory! Look at the moon & see God's
wonder! Look at the mirror & see God's Blunder! |
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Q: What
do you call a fat lady waiting for a bus?
A: A Moti-vaiting. |
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Sharab
Ek Bimari hai jo pure samaj ko khatam kar deti hai.
To aao milkar is bimari ko khatam karen. Ek bottle
tum khatam karo ek bottle hum khatam karen. |
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Y does
Waheeda Rehman never changes her saree in the film
GUIDE?
Coz Dev Anand says: O mere humrahi, meri baanh thame
chalna, badle duniya SARI, tum na badalna. |
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Gujju
lover: Darling mere kaan me kuch halka sa, kuch narm
sa, Kuch namkin sa, Kuch mitha sa kaho!
Premika: Dhokla. |
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Luk at
the world as 1 big chocolate cake. It would never b
complete without few sweets n nuts. Sweet like ME &
nut like U. |
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Be
careful when a guy tells u that he loves u from the
bottom of his heart for this may mean that there is
still enough space for another girl on top. |
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Like
energy, love can neither be created nor destroyed.
It can just be transferred from one girlfriend to
another girlfriend. |
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Great
people talk about ideas, average people talk about
things, small people talk about others & legends
never talk, they send SMS. |
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The
first half of our lives is spent ignoring our
parents' advice and the second half in trying to
keep our children from ignoring ours. |
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When u r
down & no one is there, don't think of me. When u r
crying & no one is there then too don't just think
of me, call me up, my incoming is free. |
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Look at
the world around u; u’ll see God's creativity. Look
at the breakfast table; u’ll c God's providence.
Look at the mirror u’ll c God's sense of humor. |
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A
student writes a letter via telegram to his dad. It
goes... No fun, send mon, your son!
Dad write back saying...so sad, too bad, your dad! |
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You
should do two things in the morning...Pray to God so
you can live and have a shower so others can live. |
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