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Train
mein TT Sadhu se bola: Kahan jana hai?
Sadhu: Jahan Ram ka janam hua tha.
TT: Ticket hai?
Sadhu: Nahin
TT: Chalo
Sadhu: Kahan?
TT: Jahan Krishan ka janam hua tha.. Jail mein
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Girl: If
u'll try to kiss me, main shor macha doongi.
Boy: Lekin yahan to dur-dur tak koi nahin hai.
Girl: I know but formality to karni hi padegi… |
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Gud
Morning... Kindly observe SILENCE for two minutes in
the memory of those poor mosquitoes who died last
night after sucking ur blood. Thanks |
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I'd
climb the highest mountain. I'd swim the ocean blue,
I'd do anything my dear- Just to get away from you |
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A sexy
woman is like a 1000 Rupee note. U don't know how
many have handled it but u still want to have it. |
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When
things go wrong, when sadness fills ur heart, when
tears flow in ur eyes, always remember 3 things: I’m
with u, U have money & Bar is open |
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In a
class, teacher asked: If I buy an item@ 12.75 n
sell@15.25, it's loss or profit?
Pappu: Profit in rupees & loss in paise |
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Some
dead people went to hell & were glad after seeing
the board on gate. Why?
Because it reads: NO SEATS EXCEPT FOR SC/ST/OBC |
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I have
started luving 'U'... I know it sounds ridiculous
but I can't control my feelings 4 'U'. Some time
later I'll start luving more ALPHABETS.! |
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Once in
a jungle all the animals were eating PAN PARAG PAN
MASALA
But girraffe was not eating. Why?
Because Oonche log oonchi pasand MANIKCHAND |
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1980
girls: Maan mei Jeans pehanungi
Maan : Nahin beti log kya kahengey?
2006 girls: Maan mein mini skirt pehanungi
Maan: Pehen le beti kuch to pehan le! |
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At a Rly
stn a gal cheked her weight-58 kg
She removed sandal-56 kg
Then removed jacket-53kg
Then dupatta-52 kg
Coins khatam.
A baba in q behind her said- Beebe tu kam chaalu
rakh, bhaan batheri hai babay kol |
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Similarity between Gandhiji & Mallika?
Dono ne kapde tyag diye, ek ne desh ke liye, doosre
ne Deshwasion ke liye! |
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Ap ki
awaz KOYAL Jaisi, Aankhain HIRAN Jaisi, Chaal MOR
jaisi, Aadtain BANDAR Jaisi. Acha hota agar koi ek
cheez Insanon Wali Bhi Hoti |
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A woman
had triplets, she named them Mat, Pat & Tat. She fed
Mat from left tit, Pat from her right tit...
Moral of the story: No Tit for Tat |
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Nasha
aankho me hota hai Sharaab mein nahin, Sharddha Dil
me hoti hai Mandir mein nahin..... Dosti SMS karne
se badhti hai, SMS padhne se nahi.... |
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Exams ke
4 din pehle syllabus dekha to yaad aaya,
Kuch To Hua Hai Kuch Ho Gaya Hai,
Exams ke din paper dekh kar yaad aaya,
Sab Kuch Alag Hai Sab Kuch Naya Hai |
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Lamha
Lamha Waqt Guzar Jayega,
Chand Lamhon Men Exam Sar Pe Ajayega,
Abhi Bhi Waqt Hai Do Line Padh Lo,
Warna Paas Kia Munna Bhai Karwae Ga! |
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Teri Maa
Di,
Tere Peo Di,
Teri Behan Di,
Tere Bhra Di,
Teri Bhabi Di,
Tere Pure Khandan Di,
Te Meri v Tu Jaan Hai |
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Mohabbat
1 bar ho jaye us ko bholapan kehtay hain, 2 bar ho
jaye us ko dewaanapan kehtay hain, 3 bar hoo jaye us
ko pagalpan kehtay hain, agar phir bhi na rukhay to
use kameenapan kehtay hai |
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Khuda
bachaye hamein in haseenon se, naazneenon se,
dilnasheenon se, jaaasheenon se... par inhe kaun
bachaye hum kameenon se... |
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Jab apka
SMS ata hai mera rom-rom machal jata hai, sara badan
kaamp jata hai, dil main gudgudi si hoti hai.
Stupid, yeh apka kasoor nahi, mera phone Vibrator
per hota hai |
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Judge: U
r crossing the limits.
Lawyer: Kaun Saala aisa kehta hai?
Judge: How dare you call me saala?
Lawyer: My Lod, I said kaun 'Sa Law' kehta hai?
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Bhikhari:
Saab 1 rupaya de do.
Saheb: Kal aana.
Bhikhari: Saala is kal kal ke chakkar mein is colony
mein mere lakhon rupaye fase huye hain |
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Bhagwan
apki umar lambi karey! Bhagwan apko Naukri de!
Bhagwan apko Khush rakhe! Bhagwan apko Barkat de!
Yaad ho gaya? Chal phir Katora utha aur shooru ho ja |
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Jodhpur
jail ordered the purchase order of 999 shirts n 1000
pants for inmates. Guess y this odd combination?
Salman Khan is coming |
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